I want to talk about men, but I’m afraid because it feels uncool to be loving on men. I recognize that men and their manhood are being deconstructed and vilified. With public discourse focused on #metoo #toxicmasculinity; I want to acknowledge and lend my voice to the construction of men and their manhood. I wish to establish what they provide when they have fully embraced their spiritual selves as co-creators. More men are doing this than not.
As Father’s Day approached, the thoughts about the contributions of men in my life started flooding in. It’s been a bittersweet journey, but I’m excited that I now live in the sweet and in honour of that fact I share with you.
I haven’t always seen the contributions of the men in my life, as I said it has been bittersweet. Having been deeply wounded by men, it’s taken me years to unwrap the powerful support they are. The depth and breadth of my experiences have, over the years, matured me.
The first relationships in life for both the boy and the girl are the relationships they have with their Mothers AND fathers. However, Father is a distinction that no matter how hard a woman may try, she cannot replicate. The discourse these days, of the mothers who fathers their children, is a concept which, I believe, totally undermines the importance and value of a man’s role in the world. Men and women are equal, but we are not the same. As such, we should not try to be one or the other.
As adults, I believe our ambition should be to heal our relationships with the opposite sex, so our children don’t miss the value, in this case, of a man/a father.
I feel it of value to tell my truth, and I understand that while men have caused great pain, they’ve also brought great joy, peace of mind and pleasure.
Recognize Men Who Create Family, And Community
Stay with me as I tell you a short story of one such man in my life. The scene begins in college as a young woman in my early 20’s.
While I struggled emotionally to make sense of my parent’s relationship, and have one of my own, I met a devoted man to his wife. I’d never witnessed that before. By watching their relationship, I learned what honourable, committed and honesty mean. I saw him navigate the perceptions and characterization, by others, about who he was and what to expect of him. He and I were able to have a relationship which his wife trusted, and I also did. Being his friend, gave me “family” when I most needed it. I walk this earth as the woman I am as a direct result of who he powerfully chose to be.
Then there are the men, who during this time of considerable uncertainty, are the backbone of their families. They are the men who are taking care of the welfare of ailing parents. The ones who are home-schooling their children and nurturing their wives. Men who are getting creative in ways to provide for their families. The men who are re-learning how to communicate are open honest and fair in their lives. I’m talking about men who go unrecognized and barely celebrated with one day; Father’s Day.
These men call to task the women in their lives, to be our best creatives. They listen as we speak our truths. They bear witness to our voices. Simultaneously, showing us just how significant our contribution is and how important seeing and hearing us is. Being around these men reminds us that we matter.
All around us, we find men who believe how life turns out matters to the advancement of the whole human race. They know and act on when to hold their women and pay close attention to the time for letting them go.
I want to recognize these magnificent men who are unafraid to wet their woman’s shoulders with their powerful truth-telling through stories and humour. These imperfect men who are not afraid to let us read them. The Kings who allow us to care for them in our way. As an illustration, they tenderly and thoughtfully, remind us we are equal but not the same. In the same manner, honouring the families, they co-create through leadership.
I want us to recognize and never forget the importance of their role, as they are now, in life.
We must recognize and exemplify the balance in the world.
#oneloveoneheart #selfloveselfcare #strongfamily #goodfriendbetterthanpocketmoney
